


angels don't feel

by ghostchestcrs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Firstkiss, Gay, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love, M/M, Supernatural Elements, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-18 01:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18976300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostchestcrs/pseuds/ghostchestcrs
Summary: dean tells his best friend castiel that he has feelings for him. Castiel doesn't know what he's supposed to do and what love feels like. He's an angel, he wasn't made to feel anything.





	angels don't feel

just tell him.  
how he acts and how he looks at you.. he likes you. He wouldn't act like this if he didn't, right?

Dean sighed and sat down at the big table in the bunker, pouring himself one more drink.  
"Dean", he heard castiel's voice behind him and felt the goosebumps that starts spreading on his whole body. How he loved this voice. So deep, so beautiful. How he loved it when cas said his name. Dean never really liked his name, it was a casual name that everyone had already heard of. But whenever cas says his name, he feels as if it was special.  
Dean turned around and smiled at his angel friend. "Cas"  
"You wanted to talk?"  
"Yes, sit down please" The brunet pointed at a chair next to him and took another sip of this drink. He felt his heart speaking up, was he really about to tell cas how he feels? He looked at cas, how he pulled the chair to have more space to sit down, until he eventually sat. His gaze met dean's, the angel just stared at his friend without saying a word. Dean swallowed. He hated this, he hated how easily he got weak in cas' near. He got vulnerable.  
"What is wrong, dean?"  
He let his gaze travel down to the table, to his hands that held his drink. He softly tapped a beat on his glas, dean was way too nervous for this. "Did something happen to sam? Is he okay?" The angel asked worriedly and dean shook his head. "He's fine"  
"But you're not", Cas pointed out and softened his gaze. Dean looked up, meeting the angel's eyes again. "Cas, I..." He sighed and shook his head. "I can't believe im about to tell you" "Tell me what, dean?"  
"I.." The brunet closed his eyes, took a deep breath and looked at the angel. He whispered, "I like you"  
"Yes, I know. I like you too" Dean's impression loosened, "Y-you do?"  
"Yes, of course I do, dean. You're my friend, of course I li-" "No, no, Cas, no. I mean.. I like you" He swallowed. Cas tilted his head, he didn't understand what dean meant. A sad chuckle escaped the hunter's lips, he nodded more to himself than cas. "Damn it, Cas!" The hunter said loudly and looked at the angel again who still didn't seem to understand. "I'm in love with you"  
Dean was surprised by how good it felt to say these words out loud. His breathing sped up and so did his heartbeat. But Cas stayed calm. He still sat at the table and looked at dean in confusion. "Dean", he said, "I'm an angel, I do not fall in love. And you shouldn't fall in love with an angel."  
The hunter felt how tears slowly filled his eyes but he laughed to cover the pain he was feeling. "What about the time when you were human, cas?" Dean got an angry impression now, as if he loved to yell at his best friend. He was sad, disappointed and angry. "When you were human, when you were hungry and had to pee, when you had feelings!" He hesitated a little. If dean continued talking and cas won't answer what he was hoping for, would he be okay? Dean knew he wouldn't be. "Didn't you feel anything when you were human? For me?"  
Cas looked at the table now, slowly shaking his head. "I never felt love, I don't know what it feels like, dean. How am I supposed to know if-" "You just know it!" The hunter interrupted cas. "Damn it, if.. if you truly like someone, you don't need to ask what love feels like, you just know that this is love! You- you..." Dean breathed out and stood up, he turned his back to cas so that the angel couldn't see his tears falling down his cheeks. "Leave", the hunter whispered.  
"I- dean, I-" "You heard me. Leave, Cas, just-" He was interrupted by the sound of cas' wings. As he turned around, the angel was gone. Just like dean wanted it. Yet he felt the pain in his chest only grow. He took his glas, drank it all and smashed it against the wall. I should have never told him, he thought. 

Weeks passed by. Sam and Dean had a few cases. Sam knew something was wrong with dean but whenever the younger brother tried to talk to him, dean changed the topic. He was all smily and happy but as soon as sam wasn't watching, his smile was gone. He hadn't seen Cas since he told him about his feelings.  
One day, when Sam and Dean came back to the bunker after a vampire case, the older one went to his bedroom, locked the door and sat down on his bed. He always did this when they came home. He didn't want Sam to know how hurt he was, and especially not why he felt this way. He laid his face in his hands and sighed sadly. He ruined it, he ruined it all. Their friendship, even Sam's and Cas' friendship. It was gone, all gone.  
"dean", he suddenly heard on the other side of the bed. The hunter jumped up and looked at the angel in shock. "Cas" he said and swallowed. "Where have you been? Sam was worried about you!" and so was I, he added in his thoughts. "I was thinking, dean"  
"Thinking?", the brunet repeated, "For five weeks?" The angel nodded, not stopping to look at dean. "And I think I know what love is, now"  
"oh, yeah?" Dean shook his head and chuckled angrily. "You're an angel, you dont feel love! You.. you dont feel at all, cas." "Yes, yes I think I do"  
The angel sat down on the bed and explained what he did the past few weeks. He was all around the world, watching couples and watching friends. He talked to Gabriel and took a few days off for his own.  
"Dean, i know what loving someone means, now. I had a lot time to think about feelings, about you. The thing is, I didn't even have to try to think of you. I didn't have to concentrate, it just happened. You were on my mind, all the time." Dean felt his heartbeat stop. "And I really enjoyed the thought of kissing you, dean"  
"cas, please..." Dean whispered and looked down so that the angel couldn't see the tears that filled his eyes, again. "Dean", castiel replied. He got off the bed and walked towards the hunter. He softly laid one hand on deans cheek and made him look at him by that. "I would love this thought becoming true" The angel whispered and looked at the hunters lips. Dean swallowed and couldn't help but looked at Cas' lips, too. So sweet, so soft. Without thinking any further, dean laid his left hand on the angel's hip and the other one on his neck. He slowly pulled castiel closer to him until his lips finally touched the angel's. It felt wonderful, it felt like a firework exploded in deans stomach. And cas seemed to feel the same. He pulled deans body closer to his and replied the kiss lovingly. "I like you, too" The angel whispered and continued kissing his best friend, dean smiled.


End file.
